Two

I'm a bit sad. I've had a really good day, but now we're into the let down. I've been doing a lot of soul searching today. Here's what I've discovered about me today. 

• When I am attracted to objects, I like to know why. I love old teacups with floral prints. Why is that? I am not a floral person. I like nature. I appreciate flowers. That is the extent. 
• I like things to match, but at the same time, I love silly and whimsical things. I have dishes that match. I like them. I have dishes that coordinate, but aren't uniformly the same. I like them. Some days I like one over the other. This must be the definition of a woman. 
• I thought I was doing really well controlling my depression the past year or so. Turns out, not so much. I'm now on anti-depressants and it's amazing to me how different I feel. I feel normal again. Something I haven't felt since we moved from Texas. 
• I love fabric and colors. I hate sewing. If anyone knows anything I can do using fabric but that doesn't require sewing, please let me know. 
• I don't feel creative and clever. I used to. Not anymore. I'm looking back at my life to when I lost that feeling and am having a hard time pin-pointing it. 
• My only ambition in life has been to be a mom. I'm a mom now and there are days when I feel like, "Now what?" I've been searching for a lifetime for my passion. It's always seem to come down to kids. Maybe it's time to give in to that passion and do something for and with the kids. The question is, what?
  

This is quite a bit for one day. I feel emotionally drained, I tell you what! I've felt tired all day. One of the traits of being a Highly Sensitive Person or HSP, is not sleeping at night when you know you have to go somewhere the next day. This happens to be one of the traits I suffer from. The really difficult part is that my body tends to run on a different schedule anyway. I do best when I go to bed at say, 2 am and don't get up until around 11am. Our society was not built for people who run on that schedule. If I have an appointment the next day, guarenteed I won't be able to sleep until 4am. When I do wake up, I feel tired and drained. 

Today I went to a quilt shop down in Langley with my mom. My mom suffers from MCS (multiple chemical sensitivity) and we don't get to do stuff like that often. We had a ton of fun picking out fabrics for pillowcases, potholders, a quilt for my nephew, and a wallhanging for me. I even found some fabric that I might be able to make into something for Miss M. We'll see what happens. After that we stopped at a thrift store to look for bowls to go with my new plates. They didn't have any bowls, but they did have a lot of teacups. I'm really into teacups lately. As soon as I can find my camera, I'll take some pictures of the treasures I found. 

Speaking of pictures, this one is of my brothers, dad, and me when we lived in Texas. It's one of my favorites for so many reasons.